A love letter to the music of the harder years…
Several weeks ago, I found an old mp3 player from when I was a child. I must’ve been 11 or 12 when I owned in, judging by the song choices. It was like walking back in time, sifting through my adolescent brain. I have to admit that what I found there touched me in ways that I wasn’t expecting.
Even then, small me had a taste for sad, more emotive music. It wasn’t until I was around 12 that I started listening to My Chemical Romance, which I still consider to be my favorite band. There’s so much I could write about the musical obsessions of my childhood, but that’s not what this blog post is about.
See, there’s one song in particular that hit just a little bit harder than all the rest. I first heard it on K-Love, my mom’s preferred radio station at the time, when I was 9, and I remember, even then, being struck by the lyrics. And listening to them recently sent me back to memory lane, the trials I faced as a 9-year-old (and don’t even try to convince me that children can’t go through trauma and trials), the loneliness, the beginnings of depression and bipolar disorder in my under-developed brain.
The song, as you may have guessed by the title of this blog post, is Superchic[k]’s “Stand in the Rain.” I still remember my mom ordering the album, Beauty from Pain 1.1 for me when I was 9 or 10, and it was all I listened to for weeks. She could probably still recite some of the lyrics for you, if you asked.
I don’t know what it was about the song that drew me to it. There was something about not only the expression of pain by the narrator, but the resilience in her words. I won’t force the entire song upon you. But here are some of the lyrics:
She won’t make a sound, alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down. She wants to be found. The only way out is through everything she’s running from, wants to give up and lie down.
So stand in the rain. Stand your ground. Stand up when it’s all crashing down. You stand through the pain, you won’t drown, and one day what’s lost will be found, if you stand in the rain.
“Stand in the Rain” (Beauty from Pain 1.1) by Superchic[k].
Looking back from the perspective I have now, it makes sense. At that point in my journey I was right in the middle of the years of heavy bullying that marked my childhood and pre-teen years. Things at home weren’t much better, with my parents freshly separated, and my dad berating me every time he felt the urge. I wasn’t good enough, I felt. Not for my peers, not for my parents, not for myself. Every day was a battle, and pre-teen me was exhausted.
And yet, there was motivation in the song that I hadn’t, until recently, realized I needed so badly. I needed the encouragement to keep standing. At a time where it didn’t feel like I had people in my corner, I needed that reminder that I could keep standing, and that I could make it through the hard things.
Of course in the years that followed I would discover more bands, like My Chemical Romance, Evanescence, Linkin Park, and many of the other bands that made space for the emotions of an entire generation. But for me, it started with Superchic[k], and I’m okay with that.
Loving God,
We think you for all of those things that pull us through hard times. The outpouring of emotion from your creation creates the backdrop of sound that carries us through hard things. We thank you for the musicians, the artists, the poets, and the creators that bring us music we can dance to, cry to, and more importantly, survive to.
Grant that we may go forth and pay it forward by creating inspiration for those who need it in our lives. Let the comforting words flow from our lips, let the offerings of our hearts be a blessing of peace to your creation.
In your Son’s name we pray,
Amen.
Moody Ministry 